I haven’t posted in almost a year, I think, so not really sure where to start. Judging by all the drafts on this blog, there were a lot of moments I tried to start writing, but just…gave up. Life is treating me funny, lately. I’m not happy with where I am, and it seems like things keep getting worse, but there are just enough good moments to keep it from becoming unbearable. I’m becoming anxious, I guess. It always feels like I haven’t done enough and time is running out.

Well, my sister is starting college applications! I was a complete slob when it came to those (there’s the Harvey Mudd essay I started…30 minutes before the deadline) and my mother’s friends berated her pretty hard for being loose with me. So my sister gets the opposite treatment. College counselors, lots of standardized test prep, our parents freaking out that she hadn’t made much progress a month before the early deadline. She just sent me her Common App and early essays to read, so I think she’s making good time? I don’t remember college applications very well, but all that sounds stressful…

I’m also starting to hear more from my high school underclassmen, and thinking that all the “freshmen” I knew are now juniors, I feel really old.

6 responses to “almost…!

  1. Tea, the same thing is happening with my sister. She’s applying to RM and I’ve been editing her essays too!

    I feel so old as well, and already as a freshman I feel like I need to be doing more. The hourglass is already running out of sand…

    Why are you feeling anxious? I hope you know that Phillip and I are always there for you! Just keep us updated, and we’ll be there for you!

    The best of luck to you. Is it strange that I’m hoping I’ll see you again someday, somehow? Maybe we’ll find each other in the future, and reminisce.

    Or maybe I could visit sometime. Any hackathons going on soon?

    🙂 strive to be happy!


    • Ooh yeah, I remember when my sister was applying to RM! Good times. 😀

      I think it’s good to feel like you should be doing more. But if nothing ends up happening, you just feel bad about yourself. >:

      Just school and stuff, I guess. My grades are bad (about half are actually failing). It’s also my first time TAing, so sometimes my shyness or self-doubt will get the better of me…the professors and other TAs are really amazing, so it’s intimidating. And some messy things happened over the summer. I’ll probably try to write it out in another post tomorrow, with password lock or something.

      Of course it’s not strange at all! We’ve been friends for about…half our lives? Will you be home over winter break? 😀

      • Yikes! I failed my first comp sci midterm and I’m just…very disappointed in myself. By failing, I mean actually failed, and not like “B” or “C” sort of failed.

        What class are you TA-ing? I have so much respect for my TAs, because they’re all super smart. Especially the ones for compsci. If I were good at comp sci I would love to be a TA, but it also seems very stressful since there’s so many people I’d need to help and gahhhh people.

        Yep, I’ll be home for winter break! 🙂

      • Awesome! Then we should all meet up! 😀

        Intro programming! I’m pretty proud of it because the professor and course philosophy are really amazing, and all the TAs put so much effort into bonding with the students. And it’s one of the most selective TA positions in terms of both technical and teaching skill, so I get to hang out with some of the coolest and nicest people in this school. It’s just hard to feel good about myself when I have a C/D average and they’re at the top of every class. ^_^

        And yeah, it’s stressful. Students make no sense sometimes…but they always manage to impress you somehow. I love it. xD

  2. When this popped up in my inbox, my first thought was, “Oh my gosh, Tea uploaded something!” but then the post disappeared for some amount of time and only now do I see it again. 🙂

    I’m in the position where I feel both super old and super young: in college, I’m usually one of the youngest kids in the class — there’s a 24-year-old sophomore in my Asian American Studies class because he spent time in the military. On the flipside, whenever I’m home with my high-school friends, and seeing as most of them are juniors now when just a while ago, they were baby sophomores, then I can relate to feeling super old.

    I share my sympathies with Twinnie; if there’s anything that’s bothering you, don’t hesitate to talk to us! Being a TA is a lot of work, but please don’t stress yourself out; just know your own boundaries. We’re here for you! If you’re not feeling content with where you are in life, then I really hope that you find that light at the end of the tunnel. We all deserve to be happy, right? ^^ Good luck, Tea ~

    • Haha, I’m pretty bad at figuring out my boundaries. But thanks! 🙂

      I’m also the young one in a lot of my classes…it’s weird since I didn’t hang out with anyone older when I was in high school. There are also a lot of students here who are older because they spent time in the military! But yeah, time sure flies. 😮

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